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Finding my Why

I recently read Find Your Why by Simon Sinek, a book that walks readers through discovering your purpose in life. Through a series of exercises, Simon helps individuals and organizations articulate their reason for existing.

This process gave language to the forces that drive my life. Now I can be more intentional about where I spend my time and energy.

Exercise 1: Gather My Stories

The first step was collecting vivid, emotion-driven memories. The ones that grip me as I share them and have made the biggest difference in my life.

I spent days thinking through mine. The glorious memories of finishing a marathon and spending an hour with IDEO founder David Kelley. Intimate nights staying up until 5am talking about life with college friends and watching underground jazz musicians play in a tiny restaurant. The moments where I felt deeply connected to my community: building a school in Tanzania and helping someone on the train who only spoke Spanish.

When I looked at these moments together, patterns started to emerge.

MY KEY THEMES

Exercise 2: Turn Outward

Next, I talked to my closest friends and asked them: "Why are you friends with me?"

The answers themselves weren't life-altering. But what struck me was the consistency. Regardless of how long we'd known each other, how we met, or what we did together, my friends all touched on the same things: personality traits (caring, empathetic, authentic, fun), actions (asking interesting questions, meaningful gestures), and how I made them feel (deeply heard, inspired to think more about who they are and want to become).

Exercise 3: Write My Why

Using everything I had gathered, I tried out several dozen versions of my why statement.

Exercise 4: Identify My Hows

My "hows" are my strengths. The behaviors and approaches that bring my why to life.

Care deeply for people

  • Make the effort to understand people's unique worlds and perspectives. Figure out how each person feels supported and valued, then act accordingly

  • Help people feel comfortable being authentic by being warm, asking insightful questions, and listening

  • Take care of yourself so you can sustainably give back to the world and be there for others. Lead by example, inspiring others to live more fulfilling lives

Stay curious

  • Ask a lot of questions, especially why. Set aside ego and ask the "dumb" questions to get everyone on the same page

  • Dig below the surface to challenge assumptions, spark learning, and ensure you're solving the right problem

  • Seek to learn and try new things as often as possible. Immerse yourself in different cultures, explore different paths, test your limits

Run quick, iterative experiments

  • Create rapid feedback loops to understand what works and why. Be creative and try new things. Learn from failure then move on; don't let it derail everything

  • Start broad, explore, and fail early. Innovate beyond the obvious. Then move forward with confidence. Don't rush to the first solution

  • Be transparent throughout the process. Communicate ideas and learnings, even when they're half-baked

Think in systems and goals

  • Move fluidly between big picture vision and detailed execution (altitude mobility)

  • Design systems with clear outcomes in mind. Make sure your daily habits and structures are actually moving you toward your goals, not just keeping you busy

Start messy, refine later

  • Get ideas down without worrying about polish. Capture fleeting thoughts before they disappear, even if they're rough. The mess is where the ideas live

  • Once everything's out, lean into synthesis. See the whole landscape and find patterns, connections, and clarity in what initially felt chaotic

My why statement acts as a filter for where I invest my energy. It gives me something to return to when I'm overwhelmed or pulled in too many directions. Now the real work begins!